Family demands vs your needs: How to avoid conflicts

Weddings come with a lot of pressure and you do not need to be having conflicts with your families during wedding planning. You desire to be in sync with them, their role being to support your dream wedding. However, stress comes when it is the family that is giving you pressure. I interviewed several brides about their wedding planning process, most of them had the same sentiments, “People will try to play out their dream wedding on your day.”

The pressure begins with the guest list, whereby the bride and groom can only cater for 300 people, which means from both sides, it must be 150 guests each. However, some families do not understand why the guest list has to be so small when they want to invite everyone from church and the village. Some feel parents want to invite everyone not as courtesy, but to show off that their child has ‘made it’.

More pressure comes when the family believes you are spending too much on a wedding when at times you can afford what you want. Today’s weddings are different from the weddings of the yesteryears, different trends are coming up which people may not understand and can take as a luxury. How then do you deal with such pressure? It is quite difficult to go against what the family is suggesting for you, especially if they are contributing to the wedding.

However, there must be good communication between the family and the couple so as not to raise unnecessary conflicts. If it is an issue of money, and the parents want more people to the wedding, it is advisable that you inform them that you can only afford to cater for 300 people, therefore, if they want more, they are free to pay for more guests from the venue, décor, and catering.

It is also advisable to do a wedding where you can afford at least three-quarters of the budget such that you are not funded for the whole wedding. Having handouts gives leeway for people to bully you into choosing things you may not be interested in or substandard things because in their eyes, it is your wedding but it is their money, as they say, ‘He who pays the piper dictates the tune.’

For whatever suggestion that may come for the wedding, learn to discuss amicably such that everyone gets to the wedding day without issues as there is life after the wedding. You’ll need those people in your life after the wedding for social and moral support so always show some respect in all.

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