Marriage Counselling

Oneness in marriage

By Pastor R. Mafukidze

Genesis 2:24-25

  • Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall become united and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
  • And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.

Theologians talk about the Law of first mention. Right here we see God’s original plan for marriage. What was ordained at the beginning should have been and should be the template for marriage throughout past, present and future generations.

LEAVING

The Bible is very clear that a man, after marriage, he leaves his family of birth. I want to believe this is leaving them geographically, emotionally and financially. As I mentioned in the book, 31 Secrets to a Fail-proof Marriage, this does not mean that one is totally isolated from family. Family should always be there for psychosocial or even financial support. A balance is needed. When should one get married anyway? When they are able to take care of themselves, financially and emotionally. So total dependence on parents is a NO. Exceptions will however always be there. Probably due to loss of a job, a business that has flopped or even loss of health. On the same note, someone once stated that at any given time, a bread winner should have enough resources to sustain his family for at least 6 months in the event of a crisis.

So the message to those contemplating marriage and the new weds, leave your parents, take care of your issues, make use of your inherent autonomous power. And to you parents, release those children, they can always consult if need be.

CLEAVING

After leaving, cleave to your spouse. The word cleave gives an impression of an inseparable union. That’s what it is. When you get married there’s no exit plan. Burn the bridges. Cleaving also gives an impression of being irreversibly stuck to one person.

That’s marriage. You cleave to one person. In that union there’s no Peter, John, Joyce or whoever. It’s just the one Adam and one Eve period. That’s God’s original plan. Make it yours too and stick to it. Now word of caution, this is not about how you feel, it’s a decision that you make and you commit to stick to that for a lifetime. One man, one woman union for life. Maybe you flopped in this area? Repent and move on, on a fresh page. This time around, make sure it works.

BECOME ONE

Genesis talks about becoming one flesh. This is referring to a sexual union. Marriage is beautiful. Sexual intimacy within the marriage boundaries is beautiful. It was created by God and its good. Enjoy it.

We should also know that oneness goes further than physical. Be one financially, use the one purse principle.

Be one spiritually, worship together.

Be one emotionally, share your burdens, share your fears, cry together, play together, laugh together.

TRANSPARENCY

Verse 25 states that the brand new couple was naked and they were not ashamed. Yes as couples we are allowed to be naked physically before each other. Know your spouse’s body and enjoy it. Once again this is not about physical nakedness only. Be open to each other, you are one so there is no need for secrets. Be transparent to each other; life plans, career ambitions, emotional transparency, financial and all areas. There is no need even to lock up that phone! Your spouse is your next of kin and next of skin.

For more information on some of these topics, get my book; 31 Secrets To A Failproof Marriage.

ARTICLE WRITTEN BY : Rhoda Mafukidze (Mrs) Contact us for premarital and marital counselling: Pastors Kingstone & Rhoda Mafukidze rmafukidze@yahoo.co.uk

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